Perfect Rank
by Cardboard Bike
Summary: Kakashi has a boyfriend. Genma wants to know who it is. Flirty!Kakashi and Thickheaded!Genma make for an Angry!Iruka


**o0o**

The first time Kakashi walked into the mission room marked, Genma was so shocked that when the senbon fell out of his open mouth and clattered onto the desk he didn't even notice.

"That's not from fighting," he managed to say eventually.

He was referring to the purplish-black half circle of skin peeking out from underneath the ANBU singlet Kakashi was wearing, stopping right above a swathe of bandages no doubt applied for the sake of hiding his tattoo. Kakashi looked down at his arm, and gave his half moon smile. "No, it's not," he said agreeably, turning away to hand the dark-haired chuunin beside Genma a crumpled piece of paper.

Iruka, staring wide-eyed at the mark and trying very hard not to blush as he took the mission report, mumbled something about it not being up to an acceptable standard for a jounin and that it was late.

Kakashi turned the full blast of the one-eyed smile onto him and started making excuses. "Maa, Iruka-sensei, you know I try, but you see I was ambushed by this gorgeous naked nymph with beautiful brown eyes and I had to follow him home and -"

"Its fine, I'll just rewrite it for you. Just please, _leave_." Iruka couldn't stop the blush this time which irritated him no end because he could tell that that had been Kakashi's goal in the first place.

"That's very kind of you, Iruka-_sensei_," said Kakashi with a leer (_how _does_ he manage to leer while wearing a mask?_ thought Iruka) and an extended stress on the honorific which made Iruka more than slightly uncomfortable. He then spun on his heel and left the room before either Iruka or Genma could say anything.

"That guy," said Genma slowly, "Is such an asshole."

Iruka turned to him surprised. "What do you mean? He's only teasing. It's not that hard to ignore."

"Oh, it's not that." Genma had picked up his senbon and was methodically stabbing it into the desk and pulling it out again. "He was showing off that – that _lovebite_ on purpose. He never wears anything other than his jounin uniform these days, so the only reason he could have for wearing that shirt is to advertise the fact that he's got a lover."

"Why does that upset you so much? Did you used to go out with him?" If Iruka sounded worried Genma didn't notice.

"Naw, Kakashi never dated anyone before. That's what's so annoying. I doubt he's ever let anyone mark him before either. He showed me on purpose because he wants to drive me crazy trying to figure out who it is." Genma's face took on a pensive look. "Whoever it is, I bet they're really strong. Jounin, possibly ANBU."

Iruka just stared down at the desk, blush gone and mouth pulled down at the corners. "Yeah, I guess."

**o0o**

The next time Kakashi entered the mission room he'd come straight from a mission and looked extremely tired. He was wearing the usual jounin uniform, so the only skin showing was the tips of his fingers, his toes, the area around one eye and a small strip on one arm where he'd taken a hit from a kunai.

When he realised both Iruka and Genma were staring at him intently he sighed, and crinkled his eye up into a smile. "Another B rank turned A."

"You should get some rest, Kakashi-san," Iruka said quietly.

Even though he was half leaning on the desk in an attempt to keep himself from sliding onto the floor Kakashi managed another grin. "Of course I will, Iruka-sensei. My lover is not home at the moment."

"Speaking of which," Genma put in, leaning forward over the desk and fixing his sharp eyes on the exhausted shinobi, "Who is it?"

Kakashi turned to him, amused. "Does it really interest you that much?"

"Yes," Genma bit out, "I can't stop thinking about it! Who the hell did you allow to mark you?"

"Maa, Gen-Gen, are you getting jealous?"

"No, I just -"

Kakashi leaned closer to cut him off. "Would it surprise you more if I said he'd seen my face?"

The senbon fell from Genma's lips once again, landing point first into the desk millimetres from his hand. He didn't even notice. "You – what – no mask?" he spluttered.

Kakashi crinkled his eye closed and it was at this point Iruka noticed just how much he was using the desk to support himself. "Kakashi! Go home, _now!_ If you don't, I'll take you to the hospital," he yelled.

Kakashi flinched. He hated the hospital where the nurses pumped him full of drugs and fawned over him trying to take his mask away, and Iruka knew it. "Fine, Iruka-sensei. I'll go home and sleep in my lonely, cold bed."

He pushed himself off the desk and performed the best bow he could manage under the circumstances, walking off with his trademark slouch, though a little slower than usual. He could feel Iruka's worried eyes on his back as he left, so he tried to stand a little straighter. He wasn't really hurt, just drained from overexerting his chakra.

Only after Kakashi had left did Iruka turn to Genma, who was muttering, "The mask, really? I can't believe it," under his breath.

"Does he really – you know – have sex with the mask on?" Iruka asked cautiously. He could only think that that would look particularly odd, Kakashi naked save for the mask. If he saw that he didn't know if he'd be able to contain his laughter.

"Of course. He sleeps with a lot of people, or at least, he used to. He's not going to let that secret out to just anyone." Genma's tone was serious. "Apparently you get the choice between being blindfolded or the mask staying on. And it's much better when you choose the blindfold."

"Apparently?" Iruka felt somewhat relieved at hearing the word. "So you haven't been… intimate with him?"

Genma snorted. "I don't think anything he does could be claimed _intimate._ But we've fucked a few times, yeah. I didn't get the choice 'cause we only ever had mission sex. He can be pretty damn brutal."

Iruka rested his head on his hands and thought about the Kakashi he knew. Kakashi teasing him to make him blush. Kakashi holding him without speaking all the times he remembered that he trained children so they could be sent out to die. Kakashi tapping on his window with take-out after he'd been so busy all day that he'd forgotten to eat. Kakashi running his fingers through his hair and looking at him like he was the most beautiful person in the world.

"I can't imagine him taking pleasure in someone else's pain," he said quietly.

Genma shrugged. "Out in the field, it's not really about pleasure. It's more about forgetting. I get off on pain and Kakashi knows that, he's the only one who'll do it for me. I don't think he'd do it to anyone else but then… you haven't seen him in action, have you?" Iruka shook his head. "Sometimes I think he's more shinobi than human. He's too damn strong for his own good."

"Is that why you think his lover is a jounin?"

"There's no 'think' about it. I know." Genma was smirking. "No one else could handle him."

"Oh," was all Iruka said before returning to marking his students homework.

**o0o**

When Kakashi came in for the third time he walked with a slight limp, and he gave a one-eyed grin at the reaction he got from the two behind the desk. Iruka seemed alarmed, and Genma's mouth was open, eyes wide and round as dinner plates.

'Don't tell me," Genma muttered darkly, "That not only does this mystery lover get to mark you and see your face, but he also gets to _take you?_"

'Maa, Genma," Kakashi drawled, one hand scrubbing the back of his hair in fake abashment, "You uke all the time. You must know how good it feels."

Iruka wanted to hide under the desk and stay there until the end of his shift. He knew that Kakashi wasn't hurting that badly and the limp was just for show. The damn man would probably walk without limping even if half the tendons were cut in his leg.

Because he couldn't do that he just sat where he was with the straightest face he could master and said, "Kakashi-san, I hope you've remembered your mission report this time."

Kakashi gave him a small smile, said, "Ne, Iruka-sensei, do you really think that little of me?" and handed over a crisply folded piece of paper.

Iruka took it warily and unfolded it slowly, half afraid it would be trapped. To his surprise the paper was actually a decent mission report, every slot filled in and in readable handwriting. Against his brain's better judgement his mouth said, "But it's still late. You should have handed this in when you got back yesterday."

He regretted it as soon as he noticed the evil glint in Kakashi's eye. "But Iruka-sensei! You remember that nymph? He cornered me on my way here and told me he'd give me a right good -"

"You mean you got fucked by your boyfriend," cut in Genma, not in the mood for Kakashi's rambling half-truths. "Just tell me who the hell he is."

"I don't know." Kakashi tapped a finger against his mask thoughtfully. "He might not want to be associated with me."

Genma snarled and slammed his senbon down into the poor, undeserving desk. "If you're not going to tell me exactly who it is, at least tell me _something_. What is it about this guy that makes you let him take control of you?"

"Hmm." Kakashi stared at Iruka as he thought about it. Iruka stared back. "Well, he's funny and smart and cute and sweet and an absolute _monster_ in bed."

Iruka blushed and looked away, hating himself for losing this way. There was a tight know in his stomach. He wasn't completely sure he wanted Genma to know.

"That doesn't help," Genma whined, "I need to know what he looks like."

Kakashi stood very still for a moment, as if debating whether he should say something or not. He kept his eye trained on Iruka but directed his words to Genma. "His face is scarred. And I think it's beautiful." Then he transported himself out of the room in a cloud of smoke.

Iruka found himself wishing for the second time that day that he could just slink under the desk. He had the feeling Genma would be extremely mad at him for not telling him. He turned cautiously to look at the special jounin, and was surprised to see him muttering again. "Damn, there's Raidou, Ibiki, Shikaku… I can't think of anyone else!"

Iruka felt his stomach clench, not in uncertainty this time, but in anger. Genma looked at him, looked right through him. Didn't even notice his scar. "Hey, Iruka, do you know any jounin with scarred faces? It can't be any of them. Shikaku is completely whipped by his wife, and I would know if Rai was fucking anybody. And Ibiki…" He gave a shudder. "I can't image anyone with Ibiki."

Iruka bit down on his bottom lip so hard he drew blood. "What if it's not a jounin he's dating?"

Genma laughed in his face. "Who else would it be? Seriously, he's _the_ Copy-ninja. He's known throughout the five countries as one of the greatest shinobi ever and you're suggesting he'd date, what, a _chuunin?_ That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

Iruka bowed his head, anger twisting in his gut. "Is that all _I_ am to you? A lowly chuunin, looked down upon by the great jounins? I might not be as strong as you but at least I don't judge people by their rank."

The special jounin has the decency to look shocked. "I wasn't talking about that, Iruka-sensei. I don't look down on you because you are a chuunin. I see you as a friend, as an equal."

"But not equal enough to have sex with the great Sharingan no Kakashi, master of a thousand jutsu, am I right? I'm too _weak_ for that."

"What?" Genma had no idea where that came from. "I didn't say anything about that. I'm sure Kakashi has had sex with heaps of Chuunins…"

"Oh, you think he'll take them," Iruka said, eyes blazing as he finally looked back up at Genma, who flinched away from the glare, "But you don't believe that Kakashi-_sama_ would take it from a chuunin."

"Maa, Iruka-sensei, don't call me that. I might get ideas."

Both Iruka and Genma looked up to see Kakashi standing on the other side of the desk, porn in hand and eye smiling. "I was supposed to pick up a new mission when I was in here before. I forgot."

Iruka stood up, pushing his chair back, and grabbed the smiling jounin by the front of his flak jacket, pulling him forward until their noses were touching. "You," he hissed, but got no further as Kakashi tilted his head slightly to the side and kissed him through the mask.

When they pulled apart, Iruka panting slightly, Kakashi glared daggers at Genma. "'M sorry, Ru. I figured he wouldn't get it but I didn't think he'd upset you."

"I'm not upset," Iruka said, feeling a little calmer after the kiss, "I'm _angry_. I'm so sick of being underestimated. I told you people would think I'm not good enough for you. Genma proved that nicely."

"You're. Dating. Iruka." Genma said faintly. It could have been the shock, or just the fact that his senbon had fallen out of his mouth and into the flesh of his thigh.

"Yes." Kakashi vaulted over the desk and wrapped his arms around his lover possessively, still glaring at the other jounin. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"N-no. It's a little surprising that's all." Genma looked down at the senbon in his leg without really seeing it. "Sorry, Iruka-sensei. I didn't really think you two got along."

"Yes, I bet I didn't even cross your mind when you were naming people with scarred faces while staring at me. You looked right through me." Iruka sounded bitter. Kakashi tightened his hold.

"I…" Genma looked chastened. "Sorry."

Iruka sighed. "It doesn't really matter too much. It's just that out of everyone I thought you'd be the one who understood."

"Well, when I think about it now it's logical that you'd be the only one able to change Kakashi. You're tougher on him handing in mission reports than any of the other jounins would ever dare to be. Not a lot of other people stand up to him, you know."

"I know." Iruka smiled. "Do you still have a problem with the great Copy-nin dating a chuunin?"

Kakashi made a threatening noise in the back of his throat. Iruka smacked him with the back of his hand. "I'm not going to give you up if he says yes, you know. I'm just asking."

"No." Genma shook his head, grateful that this hadn't turned out as a fight. Kakashi was still staring at him coldly, and he didn't think he could win against an angry Copy-nin protecting his boyfriend. "Not if it's you." He glanced down again, finally noticing the senbon in his leg. He winced. "Do either of you have a med kit?"

**o0o**


End file.
